Celeste Headlee: 10 ways to have a better conversation | TED technology conversation

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When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have conversations — and that most of us don’t converse very well. Celeste Headlee has worked as a radio host for decades, and she knows the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 useful rules for having better conversations. “Go out, talk to people, listen to people,” she says. “And, most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.”

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49 comments

Ruslan Pukay 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

In conversation it IS necessary to show the other person that you are paying attention because the person won't know that you are paying attention and may get distracted or lose his/her train of thought if he/she is obsessing whether you are really paying attention or not.

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suman dey 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

❤️

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oscar freire 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Me raised alone and being an only child… Just received pearls. Thank you

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BIG 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

The issue with individualistic society

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Jemar Tejero 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

It’s paramount to actively listen and seek to understand when someone is talking to you. I agree with the speaker that most of us does not have intent to understand rather all we do is to reply in a conversation. We need to allow someone to reveal his or her emotions when having a conversation. Truly, the most beautiful thing to give to someone talking is to listen.

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Chad Herfel 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Many good points made here but…. Pundits are boring and predictable? Do you realize that you can't even have a conversation unless you have a conversation partner with an opposing viewpoint? Unless there is disagreement there is no conversation. Think about that. Analogous: a plane cannot take flight without some air resistance. It is just lame to say "Those immovable rocks are boring" we have to be proactive in being the irresistible force- that way the paradox is resolved and those immovable, boring "pundit" rocks get JERKED AROUND. As conversationalists we have to take the PROACTIVE stance that WE have to accept the burden of being interesting and have a worthy viewpoint to put forward as opposed to blaming others for how boring they are. You completely contradicted yourself! You say in the same breath that some people are predictable and boring then you say to enter every conversation with attitude of openness to try to learn something. Since you are interested in Stephen Covey- we have to Value The Differences, we can't say "We can learn something from EVERYONE, except pundits, because they are boring."

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Khanh Ngoc Diu 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

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Joel Stephenson 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I think the most important point is just to have conversations.

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Allen Droll 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

What about the civil war? The founding fathers fought like cats and dogs over the constitution

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Carl Baltazar 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I am here because our professor told us to watch this and answer some questions

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Blossom🍁 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I like how she mentioned that she can still have a deep conversation with a person she dislikes. It reminds me of me during childhood and teens. 20's and onwards it just never worked.

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Blossom🍁 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

She mentioned climate change and anti vaccine 5 years ago.😯

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Bouffez Legumes 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Interesting ideas for regular, daily conversation, but her presentation begs the question: "What is the difference between a regular conversation and a journalistic interview?" because it sounds like the political realm is excluded from her interviews as a journalist if they all respect her rules of how to have a conversation. And that would seem to diminish the responsibilities of journalism, making it completely apolitical.

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Natalie Raffoul 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

She makes great points. But I was disappointed that every expert that she referenced was a man except for her sister and that reference was a rather base joke about women and mini skirts.

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Qwest Ion E very thing 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

"Don't let them fool ya. Or even let them school ya". Bob Marley

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Olympus Adebanjo 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Conversation is a balance between listening and talking. This is where the relevance of this presentation stopped, everything else is how you listen to people who haven’t seen this video indoctrinate you for an hour stretch so you leave the conversation angry, and dumped upon. In short this video lacks that balance and is unrealistic.

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Ryan Cockrum 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I bet she wasn’t prepared for the monkey wrench that is Trumpism. You ever try to have a conversation with one of them? 🙄

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포 궁민용 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

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Krystyna Oldakovska 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Super, thank you so much!!!

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crazy 8 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Steps 7 & 9 are the most having to be applied to me deadass srsly'. 😁💯👌

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Hoang Cong 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

‘Keep your mouth shut and your mind open’

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cwcwilson 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

This advices only works for extroverts or talkative people. Introverts and non-talkative people already doing all these naturally but it doesn't seem work very well. The thing is that you still need a drive to talk to people, without a drive to talk, you will never have a good conversation with anyone.

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Abigail Sharbutt 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I just realized I'm really bad at taking to people… no wonder no one likes me

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Robin Son 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

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Md Shahin Ahmed 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Most people don't listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply. <3

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xXtenseXx 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I struggle with nr.6 🙁

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Kayden Pedraza 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

….I wish I had 100 text a day 🙄

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Hemant Kumar 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Bro I do everything she said, still no one talks to me ;_;

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Professor Gobbo 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Unfortunately, the people who need to hear this will never watch the video.

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Mhir Tomas 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

The person answering the questions is controlled by the
person asking them. When a person is speaking in answer to a question, fully 100 percent of his focus and attention is on what he is saying; he cannot think of anything else. He is totally controlled by the questioner.

The power of charm

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Geneviève Gnamassou 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I never clicked so fast on a video

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Justin 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

im just wondering who was that guy who kept laughing so loudly about every little detail

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Pia Love 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

😔

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Tronox Clips 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Xd

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Charlie Shipper 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

This just proves that people love to talk about themselves. If you listen, you will be liked

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Marienne Delizo 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Me tying to regain my social-skills I lost in the pandemic 🙃

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Seth 333 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Feel like a robot trying to learn to be human

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Mitch Wow 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

This is totally random

But is it just me or does she kinda sound like the mom from the incredibles lol

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first. hope 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I just had to stop watch this video because of your prompted ideology. Climate and anti vaccine you said. She is chipped.

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Prasanna Khandekar 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Thanks! As a humanoid robot trying to act and pretend like a human, this really helped me! Thank you!

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Walrusky 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Where can I view the pure study on this being the time we are most divided?

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Retro Plus 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I cannot tell you how good this advice is, there have been many times where these tips have made conversations way better and just interacting with people in general

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Conner 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

How about we just deal with and normalize disagreeing

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Yaseer Hussain 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

Just amazing!

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Steven Lodge 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

wow, this was 5 years ago… 2020 has nothing on this!

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Nahimal Markaj 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

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Selah 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

I love thisss…my #1 love language is QUALITY time. So when I'm talking to someone and they seem distracted..look on their phone..or don't seem interested..or aren't good listeners..it makes me super sad. I love when people genuinely care about what your sharing

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Brandon Barnswell 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

When I find people who are good at these skills I can feel this synergy throughout my body because it seems simple but it’s so rare. Any advice on how one would address those who constantly make your story about them or those who are awful listeners?

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Deanna Howard 25/09/2021 - 3:41 Sáng

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